Trapped in the closet 1-22 online dating

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Not after they understand how I clung to those ideals through a decade when I wanted to die.And any teenage male nerds who read this blog, and who find themselves in a similar hole, will know that they too can get out without giving up on feminism.Toward that end, I believe open, honest communication (as I’ve been trying to foster on this blog) is essential. I believe that no one should be ashamed of inborn sexual desires: not straight men, not straight women, not gays, not lesbians, not even pedophiles (though in the last case, there might really be no moral solution other than a lifetime of unfulfilled longing).Indeed, I’ve always felt a special kinship with gays and lesbians, precisely the sense of having to hide from the world, of being hissed at for a sexual makeup that you never chose, is one that I can relate to on a visceral level.Ironically, Aronson [sic] actually writes a lot like Dworkin- he writes from pain felt and relived and wrenched from the intimate core of himself, and because of that his writing is powerfully honest, but also flawed …

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I believe this is a complicated problem best approached with charity: we want win-win solutions, where is made to feel despised because of who they are.I have seen responses to nerd anti-feminism along the lines of ‘being bullied at school doesn’t make you oppressed.’ Maybe it’s not a vector of oppression in the same way, but it’s not nothing. It is a real shame that Aaronson picked up Dworkin rather than any of the many feminist theorists and writers who manage to combine raw rage with refusal to resort to sexual shame as an instructive tool.Weaponised shame- male, female or other- has no place in any feminism I subscribe to.After reflecting on the many thoughtful comments here, there are two concessions that I’m now willing to make.The first concession is that, as Laurie Penny maintained, my problems weren’t caused by feminism, but rather by the Patriarchy.

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